In this day and age, there are plenty of women who feel they aren’t enough. The have insecurities with themselves, in their marriages, raising children, in their careers, and in the social and relationship world. I used to feel like I needed to compete with every single woman every time I walked out of the house. I would feel as though I wasn’t skinny enough, I wasn’t pretty enough, I needed more make-up, or my clothes didn’t fit right. But, why would I feel this way when everyone else was telling me different. To be honest, their opinions and my opinion of myself didn’t match up. I was placing myself in this bubble God never intended me to be in.
Then one day I finally said enough is enough. I was running a rat race that was never going to be won. I had to deal with my insecurities and figure out what was going on inside of me that would make me feel this way. I can’t honestly blame anyone, plain and simple; I just wasn’t secure with who I was.
All of this was many years ago prior to my divorce and shortly after. I have since asked God to help me with my insecurities, which he has. I have learned to speak positivity over my life daily. Jesus has helped me heal and forgive. Married to my second husband 5 years now, I feel like God has allowed me to be the Godly woman that I need for my husband and for us. Its almost impossible to help anyone else before you help yourself. My Children see a more positive woman and mother who feels more secure about who she is.
In the wilderness, through struggles, or in the toughest, roughest parts of our lives; this is when we can hear Jesus speaking to us the loudest. His voice becomes clear and we experience a renewing if we allow Him to come into our hearts. Experiencing a divorce was surely one of the lowest times in my life and I definitely heard Jesus speak to me several times. (Not sure I always listened however, and that could have been the cause of some of my pain.) Now, was it always an audible voice, absolutely not. But it was a presence that I could feel and knew that he was guiding me. This is why its very important to discern the voice of God from any other voice such as our subconscious.
I have grown so much in my faith and my goal is to serve God first above all else. Second, I want to continue to grow in my marriage and serving God by respecting and serving my husband. A godly wife is my desire and looks very different from a worldly wife. These three things have helped me serve God and respect my husband through my marriage.
- Avoiding certain situations- being alone with the opposite sex ( at work, in the car, ect.) I don’t want to create confusion or misunderstandings. In any situation, God will help you to know if what you are doing or about to do is okay. Put yourself in the position of your spouse, would you be okay with this decision?
- Maintain great communication with my spouse– make time to laugh, have date night, be intimate, discuss important financial decision, attend church, make time for friends, and any other hobbies we enjoy. Resolving arguments, discussing the future plans/ goals, and openly talk about our feelings. Great communication is necessary to build the foundation of your marriage. It is a must. If you have time schedule time out of your day/week to do this.
- Staying in the word- this is actually number one…..Reading the word daily and knowing that God wants to bless my marriage. He talks specifically about how the husband and wife should treat each other if we want to honor God. He delights in us when we do this for each other.
Here are a few scriptures for encouragement.
So, why did I tell you a bit of my story at the beginning? I needed to set the stage for how I was feeling, how I was able to heal and move past my insecurities, and now how I am able to serve God and bless my marriage at the same time. So often we focus on ourselves and how we feel or look, but marriage is about two individuals joining together as one. Its not just about you anymore. Do I still feel insecure from time to time, of course. That’s natural, but my worth comes from Jesus Christ and He does not want me to feel this way. He loves me the way I am.
If you are struggling with insecurities as well, I encourage you to pray about it and read through these scriptures. Don’t take them lightly. You are a woman who needs to be filled up with His word and allow God to take away those feelings like no one else can. So you can focus on yourself and your spouse and begin to serve God through your marriage as well.