How do you deal with failure?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? I have. On more than one occasion and in more than several scenarios. My life has been far from easy and I’ve been faced with many times I knew I would fail. Why? Because I believe that I was in a season of wanting to do things my way and not Gods.

I want to start off by saying that you will fail at a lot of things in your life. But, you can either look at these moments as true failure or use them as a learning experience. I prefer the latter. So, let me give you one instance where I failed big time in my life, however used it to turn my situation around for the better.

I was 15, young, and pregnant with my son. A sophomore in high school and living with my mother, I found myself wandering about life without meaning and had no clue where I was headed. The answer, down a dark path to destruction. About 4 months pregnant, I left and moved in with my father, who had no clue how to help me or my situation. It was rough. I felt like a total failure and I was only 15 years old. My son was born a month after I turned 16 years old and my life as I knew it had changed overnight.

I needed guidance, someone to talk to, and someone who could relate to what I was going through. A true friend, a minister, even a stranger who cared. I felt very alone and isolated. Months went by and I slowly met a few girls who were curious about me and started talking to me and asking lots of questions. I wanted to run and hide under a rock so I would never have to explain myself to anyone. I didn’t even know who I was and there I am trying to make sense of it all. Failure.

The truth is that God makes beautiful things out of out messes. Or like I love to say he takes our mess and creates a message we can use for hope. Now, as I’m writing this to you, I know that way back when I was only 15 years old, God knew what he was doing and even though my situation was not ideal, it was mine.

God chose to take something that was broken, not just a little but a lot, and use it to give me hope and a new direction. I am now in a place to help other young moms and even women who feel lost and hopeless. As if they have failed themselves and everyone around them. Let us pause for a moment and I want you to be real with yourself. Can you relate to my story? Maybe you’re faced with another situation where you feel there is no way out, no one understands, and everyone around you believes that you’ve messed up. Again. Yes, again. I’ve been there.

It took years for me to come from a place I believed what I’m telling you. This wasn’t overnight and only through many prayers from family and Gods grace, I changed. He gave me hope and a foundation that I could use to look back on knowing he never left me. He was always right by my side, walking along with me, whispering in my ear “my good child.” Was I listening, absolutely not. This took time, but once I knew I was only still alive and doing well raising a child at my age, there was no other answer. God and God alone. 

My life didn’t become easier, it actually got harder as time went on. Raising a son at my age, trying to finish high school, and then attempting to go to college after graduation were a few more situations I felt like a failure. Now, as an adult, my son being 26, and with three other children, I still have those days that I wake up and feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I crawl out of bed and wander if I did anything right the day before, if I forgave enough, if the argument I had with my husband he will remember and if he forgave me for yelling, or if the kids know that I’m sorry for forgetting to wash their favorite shirt even though they asked me several times before they went to bed. Is my business serving the Lord and his purpose, am I fulfilling his glory as a mother, or did I give my friend the best advice possible as she cried on the phone after a rough day.

First, we are never designed to carry those types of weights alone, and need to give them up to the Lord. Second, he understands and uses our circumstances for his glory not ours, so everything we think, say, and do should be in fulfillment of his kingdom. Last, he is the same yesterday, today, and forever so that means his love is unchanging and God makes no junk. (Im sure you’ve heard this). Once I believed all of this with my whole heart which was not until I was in my 20’s, my life started changing. It was then that I stopped using the word failure and replaced it with experience. Because thats actually what failures are. They are stepping stones to greatness, another chance to try again, a do- over, a learning experience, and a time that you can offer hope to others through your circumstances. That’s what I love doing now. Sharing my “experiences” with others in hopes that they will see Jesus and be filled with hope.

Ladies, I leave you with some encouragement for the days ahead when you fell like a failure and may you now consider them experiences. You are covered with Gods love, you are enough only because of him, so please turn your eyes to Jesus every morning for hope. Do not compare. Leave your heart and feelings at the feet of Jesus, he is a healer, comforter, and encourager. God is always good.

Leave me a comment and let me know if any of this resonated with you. I know I’m not the only one who could throw in the towel at the end of an exhausting day, but choose not only because of Jesus.

You are loved my beauties. 

Peace and blessings,

Tyra

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