I remember back to middle school, and I was beginning a new school right smack dab in the middle of the year. As I walked in I could feel stares from others as I walked through the halls to the main office. I wasn’t sure what people were thinking, but their expression didn’t speak of anything good.
My mother walked me in, we were greeted by the secretary who told us to take a seat and the principal would be right with us. It was a Monday morning and for me I felt it was one of the worst days of my life. A new city, a new school, a new neighborhood, new friends, and I wasn’t in the mood. After the principal spoke with us briefly, he told my mother that I would be fine and she was free to go. He proceeded to walk me to my first period class and interrupted the teacher letting her and the class know that I was the new student.
I wanted to crawl under a desk and stay there the rest of the day. If you could have seen the looks on students faces, it made me feel as though I was standing there naked. I’ve never dealt well with being new to situations although this was nothing new for me. See my mother, my sister, and I moved often and I continually had to start new situations, schools, churches, make new friends, but it didn’t get easier. My mother couldn’t really decide on where to settle, so therefore we moved often and usually for no reason.
As I walked to my seat, I was already dreading making new friends and honestly found it easier not to have to explain myself to others. “Why are you here?” “Where did you come from?” Blah, blah, blah. No one really understood me and growing up I never had many friends. Especially girls who liked me for me. I had nothing to offer. We were poor, lived in government housing, on every government assistance program available, and were scraping by. You know those insecurities you have as a child until you learn theres so much more to life.
I finally made a friend, yes one, and we were inseparable like 2 peas in a pod. Someone I could talk to and who I felt understood me. I never fully felt accepted. I have always struggled with this even now as an adult have occasional occurances. When I became a christian and developed a relationship with Jesus, this all changed.
Married, with children, hard working, and loving life, I still have times I struggle with acceptance but now I have another meaning for living. It’s for His glory and even though I still get stares, laughs, comments, and na-sayers, I don’t allow that to hold me back.
What are you struggling with today? How about a bit of my story that I shared with you? Could any of you ladies relate to that scenario or something similar? At work, in our marriages, raising children? Situations arise daily where we feel inadequate, compare ourselves, or just don’t feel worthy. I could tell you stories I have faced growing upas that would just break your heart, but somehow I have used to those to shape me not to define me. Jesus wants to rid you of times you feel unaccepted and fill you with His love.
Today, I pray that you will feel accepted and know that God loves you where you are and wants to help you feel accepted. When I realized that He is the only one that really matters, it truly changed my perspective. I no longer felt I had to try hard to impress others with the way I dressed, my hair, my opinions, my schedule, or how I rated as a mother. I could be myself and let others know that this is who I am. Love me or not. This is my prayer for you. You will feel accepted.
You are welcomed by Christ
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