I know there are more than a dozen times that I have compared myself to another woman, friend, stranger, neighbor, even that tall lady at church who seems to have it all together as she comes strolling in with husband and children in tow. All of them perfectly dressed like all of their laundry was washed and pressed at the local dry cleaners. And then I can hear the pastors voice off in the distance, and it helps me to refocus, and I have that sinking feeling as if who am I to judge and especially here in church.
It’s an awful feeling. I can remember telling myself I’m just as loved as she is even though my life may be a rambling mess. When I think about it, how much do I really know about that “other” woman anyway? I don’t know her inside and out, maybe her family had a fight on the way to church and now they are all smiling like everything’s fine. I don’t walk in her shoes daily or know her struggles and pain, maybe she just lost a job. I’m not sitting with her to rejoice in her achievements or cry with her over her struggles? How about where she was born or raised, her parents or lack of, hardships she’s overcame, her choices in life that she has made or regrets, college or career choices. I don’t know how she feels about her body image or what she loves or dislikes about herself. What she would change if she could. And on and on…
My point is that we compare ourselves to others who we “think” have it all together and they are really trying to get through the day such as all of us. Getting to know other women we can help and encourage is so comforting to my soul like a hot cup of tea and a blanket on a rainy day. We will not have everything in common but I think you will be surprised just how much we do.
Life throws so much at you that having someone who understands can make all the difference. There is also something comforting about picking up the phone and calling a girlfriend who you can talk to and you know she will just listen, no judgments, and may even utter a “me too” once in a while and vise versa.
For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.
2 Corinthians 2:18
With this said, our opinion of ourselves and frankly of others doesn’t really matter. Praising the Lord and doing whats right by Him should be our first and only concern. Lets look at this from another standpoint.
How about comparing yourself to another and placing yourself above what you perceive of that other woman? Ouch! As if I have all this and that and she doesn’t and I’m better and she’s not and she probably doesn’t even blah, blah, blah. Right, again who are we? But, again I’ve been there. Why, is the question to myself…Why do I do this? Why do I even go there with my thoughts? Why do I feel I have the higher ground to feel, think, or ponder. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself the same question? WHAT IF THE NEXT TIME WE FELT THIS WAY, WE WENT UP TO HER AND GAVE A COMPLIMENT. Any compliment we felt suiting and honest. Asked her name and started a conversation. Oh my goodness, so much love can come out of that instead of jealousy or hate.
Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.
You are loved by Jesus. He is your creator and I can not say enough about that to you. Comparison steels joy each and every time. Don’t allow it. Period. End of story. Each time you fell as though you are being attacked by the enemy remind yourself of this and Whose you are. You are a child of the king.
We can do this together, I’m praying for you.